I’ve Been Single For Over A Decade & Here’s What I’m Doing on Valentine’s Day

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Photo by Leonardo Wong on Unsplash

I’ve never liked Valentine’s Day. Even when I was dating, I never liked it. It’s a day that makes millions of people feel like shit and I just can’t get behind the idea of celebrating your love when there are singles grumpily prowling the streets ready to spew the contents of their stomachs at you at any given moment. Let me just come out and say it, okay?

I’ve been single for over a decade and watching super loved-up couples fondle each other in public makes me want to barf. Not only does it sicken me, it makes me realize just how lonely I am and no one wants to be reminded of that – ever.

If you’re in a relationship and you are happy, then I’m happy for you. Honestly and truly, I am. I just hate Valentine’s Day and I wish I could sleep right through it. Fine, celebrate your love at a swanky restaurant and buy each other expensive gifts and bouquets of flowers – that’s lovely. Just don’t do it in front of me.

When Valentine’s Day falls on a weekday, it’s the absolute worst. Last year I spent the day at my desk watching every single one of my female co-workers accept surprise floral deliveries from their partners and spouses. This literally lasted ALL DAMN DAY and I was the only one in my office who didn’t receive anything. All day I had to listen to women squealing about how naughty their boyfriends were for spending so much money on flowers – oh just shut the f**k up and give me those flowers if you don’t want them.

I reached a point that day when I had to get up from my desk, walk to the washroom as calmly as I could with clenched fists at my side, lock myself in a bathroom stall and cry tears of frustration and loneliness on the f**king toilet. How lame is that, ladies and gents? So, while everyone else around me was smiling and texting their partners about the great sex they were going to have that night, I was crying by myself in the loo.

Rather than risking the same thing happening this year (because, again, Valentine’s Day falls on a weekday), here’s what I’m going to do: I’m taking the day off. Actually, I’m taking TWO days off (just to make sure I miss Valentine’s Day and its afterglow completely). I’m going to sleep in, read in bed, and do absolutely anything I want to.  I’m going to treat myself to two whole days of ME. I’ll probably watch countless hours of classic British comedies, make a couple jigsaw puzzles, and eat one bowl of cereal after another.

And I’m going to love it.

How do you feel about Valentine’s Day? Do you love it? Hate it? Do you wish someone would just outlaw it already? Have you ever cried on the toilet because of it? Leave me a comment and let’s talk about it.

 

22 thoughts on “I’ve Been Single For Over A Decade & Here’s What I’m Doing on Valentine’s Day

  1. Oh Darling – Valentines Day is a manufactured holiday and has nothing to do with love or partnership.
    In MHO those that celebrate it – do so because they have to show off – and their relationships may not be that deep.
    My husband and I just celebrated had our 40th wedding anniversary and we never NEVER celebrated Valentines – no flowers, cards or gifts. I was often the only one in my office without flowers and co-workers were horrified that my husband hadn’t sent flowers. When I tried to explain to them that we quietly celebrate in our own private ways — they looked at me with pity.
    I say, pay no attention to those extroverts who have to flaunt their (perhaps fragile) relationships.
    Real love, actual relationships require no such flamboyance.
    Sending long distance hugs Deborah @ Bookbarmy.com

    Liked by 1 person

    1. This was such a lovely comment, Deborah, thank you! I’m so happy to hear that you and your husband do your own special thing on Valentine’s Day. I know a few couples who refuse to buy into all the marketing and they just celebrate it in their own ways with their partners. I think that’s beautiful! Thank you also for leaving a link to your bookish blog – I’ll certainly be checking it out later today xo

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      1. No, I haven’t 😦 There have been days when I’ve been really worried and saddened about his disappearance. Then I get so frustrated because I know there’s very little (if anything) I can do.

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  2. I genuinely feel like Valentine’s Day is on crack this year. Every single business seems to be taking advantage and using it as a marketing technique. I too hate the day, even when I’m in a relationship. So much pressure for something that should be celebrated all the time, not just one day.

    xx Sheila
    https://www.sheilahoneill.com

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  3. Gosh, even with a boyfriend I cannot stand Valentines Day. Even worse, they are having a anonymous cupcake sale at work, where you can buy cupcakes for your favourite colleagues. Just the thought of that makes me anxious, as it reminds me of the popularity contests of my high school days.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Gosh, even with a boyfriend I cannot stand Valentines Day. Even worse, they are having an anonymous cupcake sale at work, where you can buy cupcakes for your favourite colleagues. Just the thought of that makes me anxious, as it reminds me of the popularity contests of my high school days.

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    1. I hear you, it definitely has become so commercial within the past couple decades. I suspect it wasn’t ALWAYS like this, though. And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with spending some money on yourself – I’ll probably be doing the same haha!

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  5. Gosh! What I’m going to write is intended to be constructive and supportive but it may not come across that way.
    I perceive an obvious theme in quite a few of your blogs. The theme is tension.
    The tension between “loneliness” on the one hand and the powerful and long established desire you have to be alone.
    Valentine’s Day will still go on “out there” when you are removing yourself from your workplace.
    Do you really want to spend it alone or would you prefer to take that leap of faith to develop, grow and try to find a loving relationship with someone and embrace that in the future. Every day if possible not just on the commercial V day?
    What is it you are yearning for so much that you have to take days off during that particular time? What are you avoiding? Is it just the frustration of being upset in the toilet or something much deeper?
    These are rhetorical questions of course and the answers are personal to you. I’m sure you have contemplated such things anyway.
    Exploration of these areas of your psyche may further enhance your health and well-being and as a consequence your creative writing too.
    As always Veebs you have provided another hard hitting blog full of revelation on things that are important to you. All the best on that most dreaded day. My platonic heart will go out to you.

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  6. Hell Veebs…you certainly had a rough time of it and I’m both sorry and sad about that. I’d like to say more – but fear I’d be digging myself into a hole I’ll never get out of.
    I agree though that Valentines Day has been blown all out of proportion and is not really a day to celebrate love and commitment…..but rather one for retailers to rub their hands with glee as they count up the days takings. Like Christmas….or Mother’s Day….or Father’s Day …or indeed any of other countless and pointless “Day’s”, commercialism and advertising rule the day and anyone who doesn’t send their partner a big bunch of ridiculously over-priced flowers, take them out to a Michelin Starred restaurant or buy them something that includes diamonds, is called out as being a complete bastard! Frankly I’d like to take Cupid’s bow and shove it where the sun don’t shine. But hey that’s just me….someone who has been married for over 30 years. My thoughts are that if we can’t be nice to our partners for 365 days of the year, one special day will not set matters straight. So I’m with you…ban it!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I don’t want to ban it entirely, I just wish I could get to the point where I didn’t hate V Day as much as i do. I wish I could be more relaxed about it but it’s such a hard day for me. Thank you for your lovely comment 🙂

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    1. Will you be taking the day off too? Or will you have to work that day? This is the first time ever that I’m taking Valentine’s Day off so we’ll see what happens. Hopefully I’ll have a blast 😀

      Liked by 2 people

  7. You are not alone! It is one of the more depressing days of the year for me, too. Since I’m cutting way back on sugar, I can’t even treat myself to a box of chocolates! Thank you for the post.

    Liked by 2 people

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