Killing me softly

Guys, when I say that the past few months have been a massive stressball of dicks, I mean it. Like I really mean it. I don’t think I’ve ever been this stressed before in my life (not even when I had a heart operation at the age of 19, and that’s saying a lot).

One of my immediate family members was diagnosed with cancer late last year and is currently on her deathbed, so there’s that. My job security is currently sitting at nil. I’m going to be moving out of my parents’ house in the fall and I have no idea how to cook my own meals. My trip to the UK has been up in the air more times than I care to admit, and I’m trying to kick a lifelong habit of chewing the inside of my cheeks and lips and it’s not going all that well. So, there’s that.

I’m turning 35 next month and I constantly find myself wondering “is this what adulting is?” The stress is killing me like a thousand pointy swords straight through the groin. All I’d really like right now is a sense of security, some freedom, some relief and to know where my next home-cooked meal is coming from.

*I just stopped myself from biting my lip – good job, Veebs*

This is me reaching out to you for help. How do you guys cope with stress? What makes you feel calm and centered in the midst of a storm? How do you avoid getting stabbed in the crotch by the gods?

Well hello there!

So, why now? Why have you come back to blogging, Vanessa?

Simple answer: I don’t know. I just felt like it. It was a nice day.

Not-so-simple-answer: I kinda missed it?

Yeah, let’s go with that one – I missed it. I used to blog quite often back in the day. I had my own little space on the Internet where I’d post book reviews, old movie stuff, and some personal stuff but then, all of a sudden, I decided I didn’t like it anymore and took a break. I deleted everything I had done online and terminated my website. You may think that was a little drastic, but if you know me well, you know that once I make my mind up about something it’s full tilt from there. No half-assed attempts at compromising or “making things right.” Nuh-uh. It’s either all or nothing for me.

So now I find myself starting from scratch because one morning I woke up and realized I missed blogging. And that’s perfectly fine with me. I’ve always liked and looked forward to new beginnings! I’m not entirely sure what this new blog of mine will consist of yet, but just know that there will be some book-ish and film-ish posts to look forward to (as books and film are the two greatest loves of my life).

And now this is me begging – nay asking you – to continue on with me on this new journey of blogging and self-discovery. Stay with me, folks. I may prefer being on my own most of the time, but it’s always nice knowing that there are people out there who are holding my hand, watching my back.

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